I’m writing this today because my body tells me to care for myself. How is it doing that? I keep getting sinus infections, and I feel like hot garbage. So let me tell you about my life as an adult orphan.

The term ‘adult orphan’ is commonly  used to describe someone who has lost both parents in adulthood. 

“Losing Both Your Parents in Adulthood: What It Actually Means to Become an ‘Adult Orphan’.” Untangle Grief, 30 Jan. 2023, https://untanglegrief.com/losing-both-your-parents-in-adulthood-adult-orphan/#:~:text=The%20term%20’adult%20orphan’%20is,lost%20both%20parents%20in%20adulthood.

I am 40 years old and live with my two cats in Minneapolis, Minnesota. My life has changed so much since my parents died. My father died when I was 24, and my mother when I was 27.

I remember the stillness of finally realizing I was alone in this world. There is a moment once your parents have passed when you think, holy shit; I don’t have a home to go to. I don’t have a place to land if my life falls apart. I am without an anchor; no one alive remembers what I was like as an infant in the minutes after my birth. When you realize that you are well and alone, it does something to your psyche. You learn to become self-sufficient, grieve, find comfort, and thrive without your anchor.

It has been 14 years this week since my mother died. Yet, I find myself thinking of her as I reach milestones, make doctor appointments, get sick, make travel plans, learn something new, and even when I am just walking home after going to get coffee.

In the morning’s silence, I remember her singing “Rise and Shine.” I remember her playing Mario on the game cube in the night’s darkness.

I’m not sure how to end this blog post, but as I approach the death-aversiry of my mom’s death. I remember that I am not alone, I have people who care about me, and I am pretty sure I am loved.

If you are also an adult orphan needing help processing, feel free to reach out. There are people out there who know what it is like to wander the world alone.