Sometimes, people show you exactly who they are. You should believe them every time. Today, I want to write about how people reveal themselves through words and body language. I have been studying this in grad school, and I want to share a bit of what I have learned.

How People Reveal Their True Selves Through Words and Body Language in Interviews

In any form of communication, especially in interviews, people often reveal more about themselves than they realize. Their choice of words, tone, and non-verbal cues, such as body language, work together to provide insight into their true thoughts, emotions, and attitudes. Understanding these cues can be a powerful tool for interviewers, enabling them to better understand the interviewee beyond just the words spoken.

The Power of Words: Revealing Values and Intentions

People’s language during an interview can reflect their mindset, values, and approach to life. This is particularly evident when discussing their experiences, challenges, or aspirations. For example, individuals who use positive, proactive language often signal that they have a growth mindset. They might frame challenges as opportunities or emphasize their resilience using phrases like “I learned a lot from that experience” or “I’m always looking for ways to improve.” Such language indicates a solution-oriented personality.

On the other hand, individuals who use defensive or hostile language can reveal underlying insecurities, fears, or a fixed mindset. Phrases such as “That wasn’t my fault” or “I didn’t have the resources” may indicate a tendency to deflect responsibility or resist change. This defensive stance suggests that the person may struggle with adaptability or accountability, which are important in most work environments.

Psychologists have also found that the frequency of specific pronouns can reveal key aspects of personality. James W. Pennebaker, a social psychologist and author of The Secret Life of Pronouns, suggests that people who use “I” more frequently are more self-focused, indicating higher self-awareness and potentially self-centeredness. Meanwhile, those who use “we” and “us” may have a more team-oriented mindset, signaling a greater propensity for collaboration and empathy.

Body Language: The Silent Communicator

While words play a crucial role in interviews, body language is equally—if not more—revealing. Research shows that up to 93% of communication is nonverbal, including body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. Even if candidates say everything right, their body language may tell a different story.

For example, crossed arms or a defensive posture can indicate discomfort or a lack of openness, even if the individual verbally expresses enthusiasm. Conversely, open gestures, eye contact, and leaning slightly forward during a conversation suggest confidence, interest, and engagement. How people sit, use their hands when speaking, or even subtle movements like touching their faces or fidgeting can reveal nervousness or dishonesty.

According to Albert Mehrabian’s communication model, body language and tone of voice often convey a person’s true feelings more accurately than words alone. For instance, if someone says, “I’m really excited about this opportunity, ” they are still slouched in their seat, avoid eye contact, and speak in a monotone voice. The inconsistency between verbal and nonverbal signals could indicate a lack of genuine enthusiasm.

Real-World Examples

One example of how body language and verbal cues can reveal more profound truths comes from a classic interview where an interviewee is asked about a failure. An interviewee who smiles slightly and maintains relaxed eye contact while describing a past failure is likely demonstrating comfort with vulnerability, emotional resilience, and self-assurance. In contrast, someone who fidgets avoids eye contact or has a sudden shift in posture when recounting a failure may be less comfortable with criticism or accountability, signaling potential challenges in receiving feedback constructively.

Additionally, in high-pressure environments such as panel interviews, candidates who consistently use collaborative language (“we accomplished,” “our team’s efforts”) and maintain open body posture are more likely to be seen as team players. In contrast, those who default to singular language (“I did,” “I managed”) and exhibit closed or defensive body language might signal a preference for independence or control, potentially making it harder for them to integrate into a collaborative environment.

The Impact of Cultural Differences

It is also essential to recognize that both language use and body language can vary significantly across cultures, which means interpreting these cues accurately requires cultural sensitivity. For example, in some cultures, maintaining direct eye contact is a sign of respect and engagement; in others, it may be seen as confrontational or disrespectful. Similarly, individuals from more collectivist cultures might naturally use more inclusive language like “we” rather than “I,” even when discussing individual achievements, to reflect their cultural values around community and collaboration.

A study published in the Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology highlighted these differences, finding that while Western cultures often emphasize assertiveness and direct communication, many Asian cultures prioritize harmony and indirectness. As a result, words and body language may need to be interpreted within the cultural context in which they arise.

Conclusion

In interviews, people reveal their true selves not only through the words they use but also through their body language and non-verbal cues. A thorough understanding of verbal and non-verbal communication can help interviewers discern candidates’ true values, attitudes, and potential fit within an organization. While verbal cues provide insight into an individual’s mindset, body language often reveals unspoken truths that may contradict or reinforce their words. Recognizing these signals and understanding how they may vary across different cultural contexts is crucial in making more informed and accurate judgments about a person’s suitability for a role.

By paying attention to both what is said and how it is said, interviewers can gain a deeper and more nuanced understanding of a person’s true nature.

Sources:

• Mehrabian, A. (1972). Nonverbal Communication. Chicago: Aldine-Atherton.
• Pennebaker, J. W. (2011). The Secret Life of Pronouns: What Our Words Say About Us. New York: Bloomsbury Press.
• Matsumoto, D., & Hwang, H. C. (2013). Nonverbal Communication: Science and Applications. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.
• Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, “Cultural Differences in Verbal and Nonverbal Communication,” (2020).